This is brilliant…but the humor is decidedly for grown-ups only…so perhaps don’t read this one aloud to Junior!
A little old lady went into The Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the PRESIDENT of the bank to open a savings account.
“That’s not necessary,” a bank teller chided the old woman.
“It’s a lot of money!” the old lady insisted.
After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president’s office – the customer is always right, after all.
The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, “$165,000!” and dumped a bag of cash onto his desk.
Of course, the president was curious about how she came by all this cash, so he asked her:
“Ma’am, I’m surprised you’re carrying so much cash around. Wherever did you get this money?”
The old lady smirked and replied, “I make bets.”
The president then asked, “Bets? What kind of bets?”
“Well, for example, I’ll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square,” the old woman replied, not flinching.
“Ha!” laughed the president, “That’s a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!”
The old lady challenged, “So, would you like to take my bet?”
“Sure,” said the president, “I’ll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!”
The little old lady then said, “Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?”
“Sure!” replied the confident president.
That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.
The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president’s office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: “$25,000 says the president’s balls are square!”
The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.
“Well, alright,” said the bank president, “$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure.”
Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall.
The president asked the old lady, “What the hell’s the matter with your lawyer?”
She replied, “Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AM today, I’d have The Bank of Canada’s president’s balls in my hand.”